Description
She said she wanted "something with dragons" (Shocker!)
About 30 seconds after I read that, I found this story and tackled it. A lot of wrestling and mayhem later, here we are!
Read, enjoy, comment, fave--and wish ~GreenHuntress1 a (belated) happy birthday!
Preview image is from the internet. This story doesn't include the fighter jet, but the dragon is about the right size in comparison.
I ran into this story when I was searching Macro Dragon (I’m guilty of liking dragon art) and was hooked by the fact that it is about a dragon, and the dragon isn’t, for the most part, viewed as the villain. But I should get straight to my thoughts before I make this comment too long:
This is a rather interesting story. I’m not sure how reliable my feedback is as I’m not really into medieval settings or elemental themes, but I’ll try my best.
As someone who is terrible with names I have to say that your names are rather good. I know for a fact that I would never be able to come up with something like Kyadi, Kor Avaloss, and Endellion. The characters are introduced fairly well, you’re not throwing characters around left and right, and the protagonist(s) and antagonist(s) are clearly stated/clarified.
Your world building could use some improvement if you were to build a story around the village but served you well for this story. Having the dragoness burst through her mountain den is a great way to hook your audience and explain the immense size of her body. You were also able to provide a bit of backstory during your world building, clearly explain why the villagers need the dragoness’s help.
Now on to the problems…
Every here and there I came across a grammar error, which is understandable as it happens to everyone, just read your favorite book. If you are really paying attention to what your reading you will find errors, and that’s after a team of editors has looked at it. You don’t need to worry about your grammar that much, but it is wise to correct errors when you see them.
That about sums up your performance in my eyes. The story was rather interesting and seemed well thought out. I especially like how you left a little cliffhanger at the end there. That causes us readers to want to continue reading your work in the hopes that you will finish the story. In fact, I’m curious as to if you have a sequel myself.
I hope I’ve helped you a little (this is my first time actually telling someone, in detail, what I think of their work) and that you will someday return the favor. If you want to know anything else, about this story or any of your other stories, feel free to let me know through comments or notes. I look forward to hearing back from you. Also, thanks for asking me what I thought of your work; too many people just fave without bothering to pay attention to the work. Glad you caught me. 